This is one of the huge welcoming signs for Go...

Welcome to Google

Let’s play a little game.  Let’s pretend that just for today you could be Google.  You can do whatever you want to the algorithm, any Google products, the Google brand, Googleplex, all 26,000 Google employees, everything Google, it’s yours to toy with.  Oh one other thing, you get to keep all the money Google makes today.

So here’s what I would do.

1. Set my goal – Make money of course. So how do I do that? by offering searchers almost exactly what they are looking for in the natural search results and offering them exactly what they are looking for in the paid ads.  By offering almost exactly what the searchers are looking for I know I can beat out the Yahoo!s and the Bings and the Lycoses and even the Altavistas and Hotbots of the world wide web.  Then by giving them exactly what they want in the paid ads I know I’m going to make at least a few cents off of every visitor.

2. Gather the data – I have the Google toolbar that could gather the browsing habits and history of every user that has it. I have Google Analytics that shows me detailed information about the what visitors are doing on a huge chunk of the websites out there. I have Gmail where I have access to a great deal of the communications going on out there. I have Google docs that helps me organize all the things that people feel strongly enough about to create a spreadsheet or text doc.  I have Google calendar that helps me know when people are doing what.  I have Google maps and free API access to a ton of location based services that I can use to build shopping and spending patterns of individuals.  I even have Google voice that is trying really hard to figure out what people are saying in my voicemail. I have the fastest growing browser out there.  I’ll even have my own OS where you won’t be able to hide ANYTHING from me that is on your computer. And of course, and this is my favorite part, I have Google+ user accounts to tie all these services/things together so I can nail down all that information about YOU.  I’ll know where you live, work, shop, worship, recreate, vacation, and visit. And I’ll know what you do online, how long you stay there, if you’re reading or not, if it has to do with your job, if you spend money doing it, and if you’re likely to spend that money anytime soon. Today for example.

3. Tweak the search results – Now that I know everything there is to know about you I can tailor the algorithm specifically to you.  I’ll give you local search results when you are looking to buy things that you don’t usually have shipped.  I’ll remember who you have visited over the past few days and make sure that you see their ads on my affiliated adsense sites in hopes that you are ready to make that purchase today, or at least click the ad today.

There’s probably a lot that I’m overlooking but I only have 1 day to run Google, I need to get going.  I’d say that’s a pretty good start.  We’ll see how the bank account looks tomorrow and I’ll let you know how I did.